hopeful thoughts will be appended soon

summer 2021 has been long, but short of things i can count. going forward, fall 2021 starts tomorrow.

i spent fall 2020, and much of spring 2021, doing little beyond what was absolutely essential. i'd allowed myself an academic year to transition out of a gap year. i don't know what i had expected but this summer, i was overcome by my pent up affirmation that i had eveything together and ready to go. i applied to a bunch of places on campus, and even got in. ive spent the last three hours organising my notion because im starting the next semester right.

i definitely have a lot on my plate this semester, much more than i had experimented with in the past. but now as i stand facing my scheduled rise to the top, i'm accompanied by a hint of unprecedented self-doubt. on the other hand, i also realise that i'm standing at the precipice of my comfort zone. i'm wading into new terrains, and i'm not exactly sure what the waters hold, but i can be certain that ill be stretching the limits my comfort zone as i walk farther away from familiariaty. scary, but a win in itself.

i'm also weary about the weights ive been carrying with me. they've snowballed over the past 21 years, and i know i could've done more to lessen the load on my shoulders. what does a semester set to be defined solely by hustle & success hold for my mental health? i believe there is already an overabundance of self-help books & motivational videos that can answer this question.

hopeful thoughts will be appended as soon as i manifest them.